Week 1 in the books!

Ok, so I've committed to the Stop.Challenge.Choose 12 week health transformation and I have to say I really learned a lot about myself in the first 7 days.  The daily emails were great and truly helped me make better decisions than I might have prior to this support.

I was successfully able to navigate a number of situations where I would've normally just went with the flow.  I made conscious decisions about what I was doing rather than living my life on autopilot.  I checked in with myself many times and asked myself (sometimes out loud) if what I was doing was going to help me achieve my primary goal of achieving optimal health.

It was all rainbows and sunshine and I did have some pitfalls, the weekdays were definitely easier than the weekends, but overall I learned a ton!  This week I plan on moving the dial even further and tightening up all of my decision making!

Thanks for all the support thus far! Let's keep it going and please feel free to share your stories as well! We're all in this together!

My mid year review...

So I decided to do my mid year ‘gut check’ and I’m not happy with what I’m seeing.  I have been exercising consistently and lying to myself saying I’ve been working towards optimal health, but in all reality I have some work to do.  I promised myself, my clients, and my followers that I was going through a 90 day challenge back in the spring and I lost focus after about 45 days.  I started falling into old habits and making the same excuses we’ve all made thousands of times before.  Well, I’m not happy and I know I’m better than that so it’s time to get honest, get real, and make some changes that will last!

I’ve decided to take the Stop.Challenge.Choose 12 week health transformation to help me work through some of the areas that I’ve been struggling with.  My goal is to show the world how we can make a difference in our day to day lives simply by taking ourselves off “AUTOPILOT".  We all go through the life just ‘doing’ rather than making conscious decisions and I am absolutely no exception to this. (but soon I will be)  With the help of Dr. Wayne Andersen’s new e-book (which I’d gladly give to you for free - just email me - mike@healthcoachmike.com) along with the daily coaching emails from the man himself I am confident I am going to come out of this thing shining brighter than ever before!!

Here’s my commitment…

1.  100% Transparency - I will post before, during, & after photos throughout the 12 weeks to hold myself accountable and to show what’s possible with this.

2.  100% Fulfillment - I am giving my all to this because I know how important this is to those I’m helping on their journey’s.

3.  100% Honesty - life is not all rainbows and sunshine and I won’t sugarcoat anything.  I’ll call it like it is and if life sucks at times, well, I’ll simply say this sucks lean on you for support.

4.  No quitting - this challenge will be complete, and at the end I will be in the best health of my entire life! Let’s GO!

Anyone want to join me?  Feel like you could use some motivation to make some changes in your life?  You move at your speed, like I always say - “you set the pace, I’ll blaze the trail"

Sign up here - www.stopchallengechoose.com - I’ll be your free coach, let’s do this! Together! 

Day 1

The Heart of A Champion

I literally spend my days searching for inspiration anywhere I can, I am an eternal optimist and I try to to help others see the world this way.  I have so many reasons to smile each and every day and most of the time I look in the eyes of my amazing wife or my beautiful children and that's all I need.  However, I do have to admit that sometimes it can be hard, and some days are really long.  Sometimes all I can think about is the mortgage, the car payment, all the other bills, and the stress's that often come along with a growing family can be cumbersome if you allow it to be.  I sometimes have to remove myself from it all and go find something to inspire me, and on days like that it can be hard to get out of my own way.

Then there's days like 3rd Monday in April, Patriot's Day, the day the Boston Marathon is run.  It's not that hard to find inspiration on that day, especially for a running junkie like myself.  Even in 2013 when the horrific events took place, we saw some of the most inspiring images of Americans helping one another and banding together against the evils of terrorism.  2014 was no different, inspiration was shining bright and could be seen every single person at that event, but most notably the winner.

What Meb Keflezighi did on April 21, 2014 is not only inspiring, but it is one of the most impressive things I have ever had the privilege of witnessing.  Meb is an American through and through, and is one of the most patriotic human beings you will come across.  He understands what makes this country so amazing because he experienced it first hand as a refugee of Eritrea at age 12.  He and his family have been afforded some of the greatest educations, freedoms, and ultimately their careers as a result of the system many of us take for granted each day.  His parents raised he and his 9 siblings to appreciate what the United States has to offer and to strive to be their very best.  He has had a storied career that includes an Olympic silver medal in 2004, 1st place in the 2009 New York City Marathon, among many other accolades.  He did however, experience some challenges in recent years.  In early 2011 Nike decided to part ways with Meb which was a huge blow to his career.  He was 36 years old, 3 years out of a potentially career ending injury and many thought his best days were behind him.  I guess Nike agreed.  For nine months he went without a shoe contract, which is devastating to a professional runner.  Thankfully in August 2011 Skechers saw some gas left in Meb's old tank.  This entire experience may have led many runners to retirement, but not Meb.  He knew he wasn't finished and continued to train.  He was convinced he still had some PR's (personal records) ahead of him.

Approximately 3 1/2 years later Meb did the unthinkable.  Just one day before the event he was quoted as saying, unfortunately the American men are long shots this year, hopefully the American women can win one for America!  The next day he went out and against all odds he won the Boston Marathon.  I'm convinced it was nothing short of his patriotism and love for his country that propelled Meb to run 26.2 miles in just over 2:08!  Meb became the first American male to win the Boston Marathon since 1985!  Meb appreciates what we stand for and he knew America needed this, in 2014 especially!  Nothing was stopping him that day!

Thank you Meb, for reminding me why this is the greatest country on the planet with the greatest people on the planet!  I'm happy to call you my fellow American and I hope to one day touch the lives of people the way you have touched mine.

How it all started

So we're 30 days into the 90 day transformation and I'm happy with the results so far.

I've lost another 1/2 inch on my waist in 30 days and at the same time retained all of my lean muscle.  It's working! I knew it would but to see it in black and white is pretty inspiring!!  It brings me back to the day I decided to make health a priority in my life, so I thought I'd share that story with you today.

It was August 2012 and I had just finished running around with the older twins (then 20 months).  After that I picked up the two younger twins (then 5 months) and brought them over to have their bottles before bedtime.  It was just then that I felt a pain in my arm, and thought to myself, "that's weird".  For some reason it really started to weigh on my mind, why is my arm hurting?  Am I having a heart attack?  I started to feel dizzy, I had shortness of breath.  I'll never forget this as long as I live, I was standing on the stairs looking at my 4 kids and my wife thinking, what the hell is going on?  Why am I feeling like this?  I looked at Jen as I fought back tears and told her to call an ambulance.  The EMT's came to my house and when they came in and saw a 31 year old man laying on the couch they couldn't hold back their look of confusion.  I felt like an idiot to be honest, first for feeling this way at my age, and then for the thought of leaving my family without a father.  They ran some tests right then and there and no one seemed too concerned, they took me to the ER and the doctor ran an EKG, blood work, the whole enchilada.  He came into the room about an hour later and asked me a few questions.

Do you smoke? Yup, about a pack a day.
Do you exercise? Nope, I have two jobs, 4 kids, (and apparently 1,000,000 excuses)
Do you realize you're almost 50 lbs overweight? C'mon! 50 lbs? No way!

He left that room with only one statement...
"Your heart is fine, now quit smoking today"

I left the hospital that night with an unbelievable feeling of gratitude for life, and at the same time an overwhelming feeling of disappointment in myself.  You see, I must've hurt my arm while playing with the kids and because I was so unhealthy that I automatically assumed I was having a heart attack.  When those thoughts started bouncing around in my head I gave myself a panic attack.  This was no joke, I literally couldn't breathe and to think it was all self inflicted!! I was really angry at myself, and the stress only made things worse.

For the next few weeks I wracked my brain on what I could do to make things better.  I am so thankful I finally said yes when my father shared Take Shape For Life with me.  I decided I would sign up and lose 20 lbs, that would be enough and I could still focus on work and getting better over the long term for my family.  Honestly that's all I believed I could lose and felt it was a "safe" goal.  Well...little did I know that this program would change my life forever.

I started my journey to optimal health on 9/25/12 weighing in at 242 lbs, smoking 20+ cigarettes a day, living a 100% sedentary lifestyle.  I implemented the program and slowly began to learn how to eat properly instead of just eating when I was hungry.  I also learned the importance of sleep, the role of stress, how to manage energy intake vs energy expenditure, and a whole lot more!  Before I knew it I was down 45 lbs feeling better than I did in high school!!  Less than 4 months after starting I said goodbye to cigarettes FOR THE LAST TIME!!  Then I decided I would start running, just for fun and to get some exercise.  Then low and behold, 14 months after that visit to the ER I ran 26.2 miles in the 2013 NYC MARATHON!!

As I type this story today I still can't believe it, this has truly been the most unbelievable journey and I am so thankful for all I've experienced!  (and to think, I'm just getting warmed up ;-)  It's truly a testament that no matter how big the challenge, no matter how far away the finish line may seem, if you implement small changes and do so regularly, you will see HUGE results that are LIFE LONG!  I felt obligated to share this with others so I decided to become a health coach.  Since that decision was made I have helped hundreds of people lose thousands of pounds, but that's not why I do it.  Losing weight, turns out is the easy part.  I do it to change lives like I have changed my own.  I do it because people want to live a fulfilled life, they just don't have the tools or know how.  I mean, less than 18 months ago I didn't have either, and now I'm on the path to another transformation!?!?  The possibilities are truly endless my friends and I am making it my life's work to bring out the absolute best in people.  Starting with health but unlocking potential in all facets of life is truly a gift that will change someones life, but also the world we live in!  Can't we agree that there's enough crap out there today?  Why not lift each other up and see what's possible?

Happiness at Home

As probably is the case for most parents, at my absolute happiest, I am with my children, engaged in an activity, singing silly songs I made up to hear them laugh, marching around the deck or lounging about, cuddling and watching a movie. Children seem to bring out the best in people and when I became a mom I literally could not believe how much I loved these little beings and how I wanted to be better for them and because of them. 

So when it came to being happy, this was the area that was of most importance to me. I had two choices, I could be overwhelmed with so many young children or I could be happy and enjoy every moment possible of this crazy ride. 

I wanted my children to have a mom who was love in every sense of the word. A mom that lived joy every day and who figured out how to triumph even when the days were long and often hard. I wanted them to feel patience and love and to live in a house where yelling didn't exist. I really want/wanted our home to be a safe space for all four of them.

I'm certain that most would agree this was a pretty idealistic task for a family with four toddlers but I was determined and committed to ensuring our household ran smoothly and joyfully. So to accomplish this, I turned down the outside noise I was hearing and really started paying attention to what my inner voice was telling me to do in regards to parenting. Focusing on this type of parenting has made me personally happier but even better is that my children and husband are happier as well. 

The first thing I released was the pressure I was putting on myself and my kids in regards milestones. I was comparing their development at times to their peers or even worse one another!

 I stopped comparing and spent less time worrying about milestone timelines, when they should be doing certain things (getting rid of bottles, binkies, potty training, no co-sleeping, the list goes on and on) and I started doing things by what felt right for my family and each of my children.

What was I rushing for? My children used some of these items as soothing mechanism or were literally at times telling me they weren't ready and there I was still pushing! Why shouldn't a baby be soothed or be pushed to do something they're not really ready for? I don't know any adults who use diapers, sleep with their parents or use binkies. It all happens sooner or later so why was I pushing?

So I stopped. I still understand and am aware of all the developmental guidelines, work closely with my pediatrician, talk to other parents and get input from family/friends but I stopped the overall stressing of exact timelines. I collect all the information out there and base my decisions for my children on what my head and heart are telling me to do.

My younger twins are 2 yrs old and still take 2 bottles a day. They use binkies to sleep and one of my 3 yr olds isn't potty trained yet and guess what? I literally don't sweat any of it. 

They are all developing normally, are extremely happy and healthy children who are caring, friendly and pretty darn independent.

I know there will come a day when I may have to force my child in a direction or to do something they may not be 100% comfortable with or ready for at that moment and maybe that will be in regards to giving up their binkies or using potty but in my heart I just don't feel like that time is now. 

They are babies and they don't get to be babies for very long, especially in this fast paced world we live in, so I decided to let them lead and tell me when they are ready for these things.

If one of them wakes up in the middle of the night I no longer lay on the floor next to their bed waiting for them to go back to sleep because I don't want "bad habits". I scoop them up and bring them into my bed to cuddle because it's more important to me at this time to make them feel safe than it is to make them understand we should be sleeping in our own beds. 

I also dropped all the yelling. There wasn't much of it to begin with, once in a blue moon in the heat of the moment or maybe if I had a shorter fuse than normal because I'd been up with someone throughout the night but honestly, it never worked. My children never responded to it. They'd sob louder or be so distracted by my tone that they never were able to absorb what I was trying to say. 

It also was sending a lousy message on how we are supposed to communicate with one another in the family and those outside our home. 

In a position of power? It's ok to yell. Frustrated? It's ok to yell. And it really just wasn't what I wanted my kids learning. 

There are so many strong and impactful ways to communicate and I just don't feel as though yelling to get your message across is one of them. So I stopped yelling. Cold turkey. 

I of course have had moments where I slipped. I have 4 toddlers! I reach the end of my rope and occasionally raise my voice, I'm human. And when it happens, I try not to justify it. I apologize to my children. Yup, apologize. I literally say "(insert child's name) I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was (insert emotion) and lost my cool. I shouldn't have done that." And then I repeat the message I was trying to get across in a calm manner asking them if they understand and have questions.

It doesn't always work. A lot of times they walk away and do the same exact thing I talked to them about but they were doing that when I was yelling too. 

Repetition is key with toddlers as we all know and they'll get there but what I did show them in that moment was how to properly, peacefully and effectively communicate with someone and I'm hoping the repetition with this behavior sticks as well. 

With the no yelling "rule" in place I kicked up my patience level as well. 

Consciously, I decided to be peaceful and generous with them at all times but especially when they were sad, in the middle of a fit or scared because that's when they needed it the most. 

I took deep breaths when I wanted to pull out my hair and began saying "mommy mantras" and practicing "mommy meditations" (I use these daily and think they help tremendously!) when I felt my patience was wearing thin. 

I let go of the little things, stopped worrying about my house being spotless, let my kids be little and have not only learned how to truly enjoy it but I've learned how to truly appreciate it.

Now when something doesn't go as planned, I am at peace knowing I at least made the decision based on love for my children and their needs, not based on fear from a conversation with a pediatrician, advice based on articles I had read or recommendations that I was uncomfortable with etc. 

I'm not doing it all right and I wish I had all the answers but by following my intuition in regards to parenting I've really been happier and much more at peace with myself as a mom and my interactions with my children. I'm much more calm and comfortable in my role, my children feel that and they are in turn happy and healthy.

The focus of peace in our home has created much more happiness throughout the family. We communicate more effectively, we are less anxious and I really believe more bonded. These steps aren't for everyone and there are many who would even say we were crazy and that's totally cool, it's not for everyone or all families. But it has worked for us. We still have tons of work to do as parents for our children but I really think we're headed in the right direction.

Indulging is Important

I've gotten some feedback from the 'Samoa' post, and I think I may have given the wrong impression.  I am a firm believer that everyone needs to indulge on their favorite treats from time to time.  My biggest successes are only possible because of strategic planning and making room for ice cream and other things I love.  The upsetting part about the 'Samoa incident of 2014 ;-)' is that it wasn't part of my plan and I didn't follow my own advice.  It was an emotional reaction rather than a conscious decision.  I had already had my treats for that week, and the cookies put me over the top on my plan.  Believe me, I have my vices and both Ben and Jerry are thankful I do, I think I may have paid both their houses off by now...

If you truly want to make some long lasting life changes and improve your way of living you have to leave room for the things you love.  It's just an absolute list, otherwise we're just white knuckling it and we're destined for failure.  Whether it's cocktails, Ben & Jerry's, or fried pickles, bottom line is it's ok to indulge from time to time.  A mentor of line, Dr. Wayne Andersen told me once "healthy people eat ice cream, they just don't do it every day."  People ask me all the time "so, do you eat real food now?"  Of course I do, and I eat some things that are not great for me either.  The difference today compared to before I decided to get healthy is simple, I work hard to make great decisions 90% of the time.  I learned how to do this by using a systematic approach I will be forever grateful for.  Now I get to share it wih others as a health coach and let me tell you, it does not get more rewarding!  

So...enjoy your indulgences just as I do, and look to make smart choices the other 90% of the time.  Finding and securing health is all about finding that balance, and once you do, and realize YOU'RE IN CONTROL, it's a pretty amazing feeling! 

Stop Complaining

Once I decided to get happy, I was a woman on a mission. Without knowing exactly "how" to get happy, I put a couple of steps into action immediately that I thought would point me in the right direction. 

The first step I took was to stop complaining. 

It started really simple. At the beginning of last June, I vowed to NOT complain about the summer heat as I had about the cold winter. Things that were completely out of my control such as weather had a tendency to dictate my mood. 

The gentle cool nip and falling leaves of October were glorious and I was thankful for the impending cold weather but by February I was like Jack Nicholson in the shining. Then Spring bloomed and the beautiful sunny weather of May/June equaled a smile and even an out loud thank you to the weather gods but too much humidity and again, I was thrown. 

So I thought not complaining about the weather was a good way to start. Pretty easy, right? 

As I strolled through June on my "not complaining journey" I thought, this weather is amazing, it's not too hot, the sun is shining and life is good! July went pretty similarly. A few tough days when our AC was acting up but I was grateful for the hot sun that allowed my kids to play with the water table on the deck and the sprinkler in the backyard. I lubed them up in sunscreen and watched them squeal with delight as they splashed all day long. I was committed to enjoying the season and not worry about the humidity that always showed its ugly face in August. 

August finally came and each day that passed it was as though someone was painting my skin with sweat. I'd wipe it off and 2 minutes later I was drenched again. The kids cheeks were turning red way earlier in the day and they were cranky 30 minutes after being outside. My "not complaining" about the weather became a struggle. I found different ways to make it through that month, I took the kids to the gym more often, play places and families house to avoid being outside to soak in that humidity that I knew would put me over the edge but when September came and gave way to some relief, I celebrated! I had not complained about the weather once! I had enjoyed the season, even the hot humid days that seemed never ending. And whenever I began getting cranky at the summers heat, I'd think to myself "this is out of your control. You can't control the weather. Find something productive to do in lieu of being outside. Don't allow the weather to dictate your happiness or ability to enjoy the day.

But every now and then, no matter how focused you are on remaining positive or how far you've come on your journey to authentic happiness life is going to hand you a polar vortex. You may start off well intentioned and determined and you'll cruise through the first two months of bitter cold but by March when you haven't been outside for weeks and your children have had colds that have had you at the doctors office every other day for what feels like a month you may feel beaten down and crack. "I hate this mother bleeping cold." "Where the bleep bleep bleep is spring." "I'm going to kill someone if i don't see the sun this week." Sound familiar? I realized, I had fallen back into the complaining trap. I had two choices: allow my bad habits to slowly creep back into my life and take over giving way to more negativity or I could stop, acknowledge my complaint relapse, forgive myself and refocus on my goal. Forgiving yourself is instrumental and necessary in order to move forward (more on that in a future post) and so that's what I did.

Now I know what you're thinking, this is an example based on the weather and what life often hands us is way harder and more trying than the weather but I truly have used this same principal and approach with the same mantras to navigate my way through all those life situations. 

I continuously remind myself of what is in my control and what is out of my control and 98% of the time the only thing actually in my control was my reaction to what was occurring. 

Complaining wasn't solving anything, it was giving the problem validity with no resolution. I can accept what is occurring AND not like it but understand it is beyond what I am capable of changing. And this simple act of accepting that which is out of my control can be applied to many situations; relationships, health issues, financial obligations etc. 

I've continued this "not complaining" practice and have consciously applied it to all areas of my life. I say consciously because it takes work to control my attitude towards the "uncontrollables". 

It's our nature and we are designed to express grief, anger or frustration towards something we can not actually change. It's healthy to vent and not allow it to build up. "Getting it out" is super important as to not harbor ill feelings and resentments but to harp on something that won't change the actual outcome is wasted energy. 

So where do I draw the line? I find a trusted partner (Mike, my mom etc) and say "I need to get this off my chest. I'm going to talk for 5, 7 or 10 minutes (determined by the occurrence) and then release it." I'll literally spew everything out, take a deep breath and hand it over to the universe. 

Releasing the feelings is freeing and allows me to express my emotion without allowing it to dampen/hinder my day, attitude or the balance I'm working so hard towards achieving in my life. 

I've found this small step of not complaining has made a huge impact on my overall health, attitude and mood allowing me to focus all my energy on the absolutely positive things in my life and the world surrounding me.